Am I Jealous of Her

Recently, I opened my Ig account and scrolled my friends' stories. It was all the same as usual, posting about their daily life. I was not too interested and swiped away quickly until I saw one of my high school friend's pictures. She uploads something that contained somewhat Grand Prix or something similar. I did not read it because I was too curious about the next stories. Yes, she uploaded so much Ig stories as you can see the line above the screen got so many strips. Automatically, my finger tapped to the next picture.

Barcelona, edited from babaimage.com

Surprisingly, she wrote a caption for that picture if she was in Spain, Barcelona in particular. How astounding she is! I saw the next stories and admiring what she's doing far away there. She shared via those pictures that she was visiting her favorite football club, FC Barcelona. Yes, she is one of their fans. All of us can see her witty face, her wide smile expressed everything. And I smiled too, I am happy that she finally can visit the place that she is dreaming of. Then, I realized that she was there for international competition and visiting the club after that.

Isn't she wonderful? She reached her dream, and also my dream: going abroad to Spain as I learned Spanish, in her young age with her own money. I keep wondering how successful she is, how lucky she is, how perfect she is. I have been wondering until now. And I bring it even worse: comparing myself to her. I am asking myself: what big things I have made in my whole life. What I have done in these 19 years? Why am I not in Spain right now? Why I haven't gone abroad until this day? Why I am stuck in this place? Why I can't be like her? Why she's more success than me? See? I got crazy. Just because some pictures of my friend's achievement, I started complaining about my life and feeling sorry for myself. I felt my life isn't a success as other people. They reach so many big things that are prestigious, wondrous, and cool.

Foolishly, I saw my life as trash asI less success than others. I am just an ordinary person, having a standard life. I haven't seen something special from me. Maybe you have experienced such this feeling too. I can honestly say that I was jealous of others' achievements just because I can get what they get. Aw, it is utterly unacceptable. Annoying, isn't it? I kept feeling sorry for myself until a piece of Aida Azlin's video came up to my mind. She's currently my fav blogger on YouTube. In one of her 'How To' video series, she told about how to audition. In her fourth step, she tells us to not compare ourselves to others. Because we already know that everyone walks in their own time and speed.

Everyone is different. That doesn't mean there are successful persons and there some that are not. Everyone can be successful, but not at the same time. We're not walking, climbing up and down, or running simultaneously. We live in a different place, different environment, plus we are facing a different problem. That's why I finally realized and get back to the place where I grounded. Now, this is her time to go to Spain. I just have to be happy for her and living my own life. I have to travel my time with my own speed so I can reach the time where I will go there too. I don't know when is the exact time for me to go there, but I know I will go.

As written in a book I read this evening, a bud will definitely bloom later on. Maybe we're just a small plant or a small bud, but soon we'll bloom like a beautiful flower. Or like a caterpillar, people call them shoddy. But soon as metamorphosis time has come, they will change into butterflies. Now, I am a bud, a small plant, or a shoddy caterpillar. All I have to do is keep doing my own things and walk through my own life optimistically. All I have to remember are just being positive and try to always see the good in everything. Be confidence and we'll be okay.